Do not contact meПубликувано: 26, декември 2011
Do not! It`s the family holiday and I am not less lonely when I`m with you. You didnt make this day special in any way. Small talks are nice, hearing that you love me is nice… but is not what I want for Christmas. You refused to take part in our first Christmas together. You were tired you said. Were you tired yesterday? The day before? Because I was. I was tired because being alone preparing for Christmas cost me so much energy! The heavy bags, the how not to watch xmas movies remote control strategy, the sleepless nights thinking about you, my family, you, my past, you, my future, you, us.
If you dont want to, if you dont know how to be a part of the most „family“ day of the year… please do not contact me the next 2 days. I prefer being alone to being with your ignorance for what I like, for what I am. I will watch movies, I will read books, I will eat sandwiches… I will kill whatever Christmas spirit you didnt kill. But please dont come, please dont remind me about today, about yesterday, about your complete selfishness. Dont remind me you didnt want to be my family on Christmas.
I will survive these days. I will find a way to forget. Not forgive. But please dont make it worse. On Wednesday I`ll still love you. Only I`ll know you are not ready to be with me.